Media Release
June 17 2010
Parenting paradox: parenting after infant loss
A
UniSA study has found the impact
of an infant death on mums and dads has far-reaching consequences on
subsequent parenting.
Published in international journal ‘Midwifery’, the study shows that
bereaved parents can adopt a ‘paradoxical’ parenting style when
parenting after a perinatal or early infant loss.
The study was conducted in South Australia by UniSA
School of Nursing and Midwifery
lecturer Dr
Jane Warland, Head of School Professor
Helen McCutcheon and tutor Dr
Victoria Williamson, with input from Dr Joann O’Leary from the
University of Minnesota.
Dr Warland said the qualitative study of 13 bereaved parents was
conducted to gain an in-depth understanding of the parenting experiences
of bereaved parents in the years following an infant death.
“What we found was parents described a ‘paradoxical’ parenting style
where they were trying to parent, using two diametrically opposed and
unsustainable options,” Dr Warland said.
“Participants expressed the need to hold their subsequent child close
because they were so grateful for their child’s life, whilst also
holding the child at an emotional arm’s length, fearing their child
might die.
“In order to protect themselves from a repeat loss, they often took
control of things they felt they could control, such as the child’s
sleeping environment.
“The parenting paradox was evident when participants talked about making
parenting decisions. They shared a loss of confidence in the ability to
make parenting decisions as a result of their infant’s death, but this
came alongside stories where they felt empowered to make decisions
because their infant had died.
“The parenting paradox was also expressed through participants being
concerned about checking and protecting their child, and paradoxically
leaving their child unchecked. These parents described checking on their
subsequent children while they were sleeping, often in the middle of the
night. Checking was not confined to their own children, but also
involved other people’s children sleeping over in the house.”
Dr Warland said previous research on bereaved parents’ relationships
with subsequent children had focussed, quite understandably, on the
impact of heightened anxiety in the subsequent pregnancy as well as
mothers deliberately delaying attachment in the subsequent pregnancy and
early infancy.
“Participants in our study described continuing to deliberately hold
aloof from their child well into that child’s childhood. We suggest that
this finding means that there may be disruption of affectional bonds
between bereaved parents and their subsequent child, which extends far
into the parenting of that child,” she said.
“There is a need for research into the effect of this on not only the
emotional development of the subsequent child, but also other children
already in the family, and the mental health status of the bereaved
parents.
“Further research is required to support specific education during the
subsequent pregnancy and after the birth. This education should aim at
early intervention with anxiety and attachment issues, and alert parents
that their infant’s loss impacts future parenting.”
Media contact
- Kelly Stone office (08) 8302 0963 mobile 0417 861 832 email kelly.stone@unisa.edu.au